I’m alive.

To the existential dread

I let run through my head:

The truth is that you hurt for me so long,

So, here’s my celebration song

I know that years from now

When my final flame runs out

I’ll be a grain of sand

Running through a stranger’s hand,

But right now,

I’m alive

I’m alive. I lived to see the day,

I lost so much along the way,

But that’s fine,

Because I’m alive.

I’ve been so hurt for so long.

I’ve been so hurt for so long.

I’ve been so hurt for so long.

I’ve been so hurt for so long.

I’m done

Trying to run

From all the things that make me feel alive,

For fear that I might just catch fire.

I’ve earned

A couple days amongst the sun,

God knows I’ve more than paid my dues

For all the months that I didn’t want to live through.

The sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes,

This blissful pain contextualized.

I went to deaths door,

He let me inside,

But for all my want,

He couldn’t look me in the eyes.

I,

I’ve been so hurt for so long.